Selected Poems

reflections,

as seen through this window

overlooking the river

t r a n s f o r m a t i o n  |  a n n e - a u d r e y

my heart,
spokesperson for
all the parts,
all the pieces,
of me
 

s c r e a m i n g  |  a n n e - a u d r e y

excerpt from j'étais. i.

the map of my soul

that has been colonized

by various sources

including myself

not restricted by what it has seen

but the infinite possibilities

a result of circumstances

multiplied by steps I choose to take

the moon feels my light

and i shall feel it too

on my spiritual journey
 

i n f i n i t y  |  a n n e - a u d r e y

i am shoulders

shoulders holding the pressure of being

just

being

transparency of my soul

my struggles

my highs

my lows

the responsibility of caring for others,

yet forgetting parts of me

or is it suppressing?

unconsciously perpetuating the strong black woman archetype

note to self:

my vulnerability is my resiliency

self-loving unconditionally

unapologetically
 

q u e s t i o n s  |  a n n e - a u d r e y

i can’t describe it

it’s like a boomerang in my heart

in my stomach

under my skin

i can’t fight it

im held hostage

undeclared sentence

i can’t grasp the punishment

the reasons behind the fighting

the only thing i know

is that

i am alone

duality

yet alone

prisoner

this heaviness i feel

i know has a purpose

this heaviness i feel

i know strives for wisdom

this heaviness i feel

i know is ephemeral

for it to end

i shall stop to pretend

and try to understand

with an open heart

and an open mind

i shall let go

of the needles entering my skin

identify the needles

and let go of superficial diseases

diseases creating invisible distress

invisible fighting

invisible heaviness

go away
 

f a c i n g , m e  |  a n n e - a u d r e y

lay it down on paper

everyday, he said

the way the ink on the tip of my pen skims the surface of that page can depict and illustrate the beauty and the pain that is caused by my heart and my brain

or perhaps

the world of politics and corruption that shadows it

why do we always blame ourselves when we are a product of various variables,

including the oppressor
 

i n t e r n a l i z e d  |  a n n e - a u d r e y

unclench your teeth

all you’re holding on to is

fear

let the breeze make its way
 

n o t a  b e n e  |  a n n e - a u d r e y

whole

why leaving some parts behind if

i am whole

why even thinking that each piece has its order or place if

i am whole

why not being as proud of my falls & weaknesses as my strengths & successes 

if

i am whole

why fearing the existence of judgement if

i am whole

if

we are whole

if 

i am whole

if

we are whole
 

w h o l e  |  a n n e - a u d r e y

doesn’t matter how little the fire is.

it,

is,

still,

burning.

delicate flame

with the power to destroy

b u r n i n g | a n n e - a u d r e y

i realize all the contradictions i hold

what i’ve been told

what i tell myself

all the stories comprised in my own body

i no longer want to be this person

carrying the stories that make no sense to my head & heart

yet stain my soul

i no longer want to be in betweens

the black and the white

yes, that’s right

no, that’s wrong

i believed others came first

before me

that i needed to be strong and carry it all

even it was not realistic to me

but, i am more than one self

and maybe the process starts with

acceptance,

and compassion

for these contradictions have seeds

seeds, who planted you?

who watered you?

who nurtured you?

work-in-progress

me, my selves, and i

f l u i d | a n n e - a u d r e y

i want the grieving to be less painful,

as I let go of parts of my selves

i thought were necessary.

to let my selves be,

in and out,

as they please,

striving for authenticity,

without the confines of a fake static eternity.

l e t , g o | a n n e - a u d r e y